Dropping Out of 8th Grade

Chapter 5 of “Leading With the Heart” focuses on the dark turn I took in life. A time when I had given up. Dropping out of 8th grade, drinking, drugging—I had sunk entirely into apathy. It wasn’t rebellion for rebellion’s sake—it was a quiet surrender.

I was so disappointed in what life seemed to hold. You can see it written entirely on my face in this photo—taken on the last day of 7th grade, just before my 13th birthday.

But for any of us in our seasons of darkness, the heart would never dream of saying, “Just get over it.”

“Heart Hibernation” is exactly what we need during these times. It is the practice of giving yourself permission to retreat, rest, and be gentle with yourself during emotional seasons.

It’s okay to step back, snuggle up and give yourself permission to do what’s needed to get by. It’s important to understand that every single last one us endures dark seasons. It is baked into the human experience.

And we can rise again, when we are restored. But first, we must extend kindness, gentleness, and compassion to our very own selves.

I didn’t overcome this time with brute force, shame and self-criticism. It was only by giving myself grace and by understanding that darkness comes for each of us, that I could begin again.

It’s from this place of “common humanity”—in knowing we each share in this experience of complicated humanness— that we can return to ourselves, guided by the intelligence of our hearts.